Lay your head down a while

It’s 1 year today. 1 year when everything went topsy turny overnight. I’ll be posting about how I dealt with today’s challenges in a new post tomorrow.

Today though we have Mr Braingirl with his words (and music choice) on the past year. He’s a shy fella so didn’t want to say much but I wanted to express how difficult it’s been for him as a carer and who better to do that than the man himself. He thought he was getting a brand new girlfriend and instead ended up with a broken person. He stuck around though and became perhaps the most important person in all of this. My rock with an inexhaustible supply of support and hugs and tea.

Anyway, without further ado, here it is:


“Time has a strange way of standing still sometimes. Hours feel like weeks, weeks feel like months, but then at the same time a year can pass by in the blink of an eye.

Nobody ever asks you to do what you do. When something like this happens, you just assume the role of a carer. You don’t question anything, you just knuckle down and accept these responsibilities. Parts of life still carry on, the world keeps turning, but everything seems a little unreal, there’s a little less colour to the world.

I think maybe only a few of my friends and those close to me understand all that is going on. People don’t realise the toll looking after somebody can take on you. I wouldn’t expect them to, the patient is the most important thing, and all focus has to go on that fact. You spend your days worrying when you are away from the house, and reassuring when you are home.

The things you did and the places you went a year previously don’t seem to have much purpose anymore if you can’t share them with someone. You struggle not to cave in under the stress and disappear into a bottle. Music helps you to keep your head above water while your legs flail below.

As the months go by you see changes, you see the progress that is being made and you know that everything will be okay, the hardest part is not knowing how long everything will take.

You keep going because you know there’s a light at the end of it all, a respite for you and the one you love.

You only care because you love”

6 thoughts on “Lay your head down a while

  1. Dear Mr. Braingirl,

    What you wrote completely hit home, especially how you describe the slippery way time moves. You are loving and supportive, which is the way it should be, but sadly is so rare in these instances.

    Ms. Braingirl and I are lucky in that you and and my own carer Brian “get it”. Though it is often exhausting for him (and I’m sure for you), he is in it for the long haul, and has been for years. He thinks I have value. I think he’s mad for thinking that. Yet, somewhere in there, we have forged a very strong love.

    I believe your post will help give the rest of our fellow survivors and their carers encouragement, and the knowledge that they are doing the right thing, even…especially…when it gets particularly difficult.

    Thanks so much to you both for sharing a story that will help and inspire others .

    With love from Diana and Brian. xx

  2. You’re a good guy Mr Braingirl
    And Ms Braingirl is so brave. I’m sure her sister is very grateful to Mr Braingirl for all he has done

  3. This was a beautiful post. I felt like I was reading my own boyfriend’s words. I also got injured very early on in our relationship. Sometimes I hate to admit it, but since my independence is limited, he takes care of me the best he knows how, and that will always mean the world to me. Two years later and we are still going strong! Thanks to all of the caregivers that give and love so many people with brain injuries. I can’t express how grateful I am.

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