I wanted to wait a few days to write this but got too excited so I’m just diving in and getting it done. A few days ago (29th July to be precise) myself and Mr braingirl went and did this.
We had kept this fairly quiet, planned it over the past few months and then on a glorious sunny day in the north of Ireland we had a beautiful handfasting ceremony. The numbers were kept small (close family only) with a few wonderful generous friends, whom I wish to thank through this post, who contributed to make the day special by playing music, taking photos and conducting the ceremony. The whole day was held in our beautiful garden courtesy of our landlady and we had a scrummy all vegan buffet by Sarah’s world fare .
But, I hear you cry, what does this have to do with brain injury? Well, everything and nothing. Those of you familiar with my story so far will know myself and Mr braingirl met a mere month before my injury you will also know how he has tirelessly cared for me for years. It is also known that my fatigue restricts many things in my life including big stressful events like …well….weddings. On the morning, I had a few moments of feeling like I couldn’t do it but I told my brain to get itself together because THIS IS ON. But this is also absolutely nothing to do with my injury, it’s a day separate from that thing that happened, it’s a day we used to reclaim ourselves back as a couple without the third wheel in the relationship having anything to do with it. Let me tell you it was a day full of joy, love, beauty, nature and friendship.
It was a time when both our families could get together for the first time that didn’t involve intensive care and hospitals. A time for me to reconnect with my niece and nephew who are wild wolves in the best way that children are supposed to be, full of fun and wonder. I sit here now full of happy tears because my family have gone home across the sea and I got a glimpse, a reminder of just how good life is. I sat for a few times at the wedding and looked around and thought to myself ‘THIS is what life is about’.
I want to share a few things about the day with you, firstly we did it without spending massive amounts of money. No wedding needs to cost thousands of pounds. A few people told us it was the best wedding they have been to ( not family members, so no obligation to say this) and I think it was because it transcended the actual act of the mechanics of marriage, it became about the meaning of it and the heart present within it. It was handmade, rustic and simple, no fussy dress code, no formal speeches, no present list, no long drawn out hymns and the only rule was to relax and have fun. My mum in law stitched reams of bunting and made our cake, I made table decorations from bundles of twigs from the garden, confetti from dried rose petals and lavender, tree decorations for pence and a bouquet from garden trimmings put together on the morning.
I sneaked in a secret speech that I’d written that made my mum cry snort as it was a thanks to Mr braingirl for the nearly 4 years of care and safety and support. It was my time to try to give back to him a little something for diverting all the attention for all this time.
All in all it was a magical day (and I use that word as it’s literally intended, I had goddess blessings from a witchy friend, hidden and not so hidden about my person). A day I wish I could do all over again, there was something very special in the air two days ago and thanks to Shirley our pagan officiant we spread it around to all our guests like magical beautiful confetti.