A cloud full of tears: a brief interlude for Next Doors Cat

I’m side stepping away from injury and mental health today to talk about Next Doors Cat (NDC). She’s gone unmentioned in this blog for a while and I need to rectify that.

NDC is missing, presumed dead. She’s been gone for a while, we noticed that she no longer sits on our wall or comes to say hello at the window. This may not seem like a big deal, after all she wasn’t even our cat but I need to explain why this has upset me so much.

NDC appeared at a time in my life when I was the lowest I’ve ever felt. She would appear at the bedroom window and ‘talk’ to me, then I would let her in and she would not leave my side. She did this every day. She sat and looked into my eyes when I couldn’t stop crying, she lay next to my face when I was lonely and sad and wanted to die. She always knew when I needed that tenderness. Yes she was a cat but Mr Braingirl aside, she was the only living being who was patient enough to be in my space when everything was hopeless.

I like to think I gave her something too, a warm place to sleep, some food and lots of love, all of which she didn’t get from next door. I hope this gave her some comfort in what are now I believe her last months alive. I’m a bit daft about animals, I love them (sometimes more than humans) but I also believe they can be very intuitive, NDC knew I needed someone and so there she was. She had an inbuilt alarm, the minute those dark thoughts appeared of wanting to give up she would appear like magic and give me purrs and cuddles. She was also the catalyst for this blog and all that has followed.

I am so grateful for NDC, without her things would have been even harder. I’m so sad she has gone and I miss her very much.

Goodbye Tigger (for that was her real name) I will never forget your help.